David_Lynch mike score TerrancePhillip

We at Jellyhaus are beginning to question whether there is something deeper, darker and generally more conniving about John and Edward (subsequently known as ‘The Kennedy Twins’…is there a third one hiding at home behind the sofa, we truly hope not?!) staying in the X-Factor.  It certainly isn’t because of their singing abilities or their sartorial elegance, as they look like the offspring of David Lynch and Flock of Seagulls’ Mike Score dressed in Teletubbie offcuts.  Either that, or Terrance and Phillip (South Park) have had a Disney makeover and become real boys.

On Saturday, not only did they stay in but they received the highest number of votes out of all the contestants , leaving Danyl [SIC] Johnson and Miss Frank to fight for survival in the sing-off. Something Simon Cowell called ‘a total joke’….although with X-Factor, you could be forgiven for wondering to what exactly he was referring.  Surely this can’t be because of the Kennedy Twins’ negligible cheeky charm and putative comedy factor?!

Note to Louis: We put our heads together here in the office and came up with our own song choice suggestion for them for this Saturday.  We love it, love it to bits!

Complete with the X Factor judges, it was hard to resist – perhaps you can make up your own mind about which of the characters each judge would be – Louis there is even a dancing part for you towards the end!  (N.B. Video contains strong language at the end).

Could this be the beginnings of the long overdue backlash against celebrity judged talent competitions? With the X-Factor and Britain’s Got Talent, the UK public are perennially bombarded with egomaniacal wannabes, who are mostly as deluded as they are desperate.  Perhaps the public are voting tactically for the Twins because the possibility of them winning would create sufficient shock factor and dramatic impact to deliver the message ‘we’ve had enough of this tripe’.

Or perhaps it’s even more sinister than that…

A particularly vocal critic of the X-Factor here at Jellyhaus (you know who you are) believes it is more a deliberate effort by the production team to send John and Edward through from Boot Camp – Louis you can’t possibly have loved them or thought they were even slightly talented.  For sure, we are not suggesting that ITV would risk another voting scandal (although when you’re as far up the creek as ITV is, anything is a paddle) but by putting them through, we are assured of Simon’s continued odium toward them and therefore the resultant 35p’s of millions of lemming voters.  As is always the way, an innovative concept is over-milked and we are left with the freak show detritus who remain, aimlessly wandering the asylum, even though the Moron Liberation Front have broken open the cages and shown them the way to the outside.

Keep them in for long enough to keep the cash registers ringing, perhaps enough for the lovely Northern Stick Insect to a) indulge her guilty pleasure – who would want to stop her and b) stop ending every sentence with “I loved it, I love you to bits”.

If this is the case, the question is; have the public beaten ITV at its own game? No doubt the producers would never countenance the Kennedy Twins being allowed to win, on the basis that the only thing you could manufacture them into would be a fragmentation grenade, however the gladiatorial politics of the Colosseum can cut both ways – what if the public decides to keep them in? One can only hope that in a few weeks’ time, Simon Cowell finds himself like Joaquim Phoenix, having to give the thumbs up as the crowds tweet the names of their favourite competitors; John and Edward, John and Edward, John and Edward…

The judges having to admit that the public do know more than them? Just what would Cheryl Cole say…I love you, I love you all.